Beneath it all, most of us think that “we are not good enough”, and it goes to our lack of self love and acceptance. Of course we are constantly bombarded by images of presumably “perfect” people with perfectly skinny bodies, perfectly even skin-tone, perfect hair, perfect Brazilian butts, perfect boobs, perfect six pack abs, so it is easy to feel inadequate.  This may come as shock to you, but what we don’t hear often is that even these “perfect” looking people: models, movie stars, successful accomplished people… many think of themselves as “I’m not good enough”. They are often depressed and feel terribly inadequate.

On a lighter note, I wanted to introduce you to my cat named Max.

Max is a good looking tabby but by all definition has a bit of an issue with loose skin. His tummy skin hangs down far below his belly. Luckily Max is a cat and completely oblivious to this fact. He is perfectly happy, playful, healthy and doesn’t have a care in the world. Of course for me, he is absolutely perfect exactly the way he is.

Now this weird thought went through my head: what if Max was a 40 year old woman that lived in Southern California?

She would be thinking…

  • I need to workout more
  • I need to try a new diet
  • I look terrible
  • I need a tummy tuck surgery
  • No one is gonna want to date me
  • I need to get that newest skin tightening machine I saw last night on the infomercial

Where are all these underlying thoughts come from?

I’ve been on a journey lately of trying to find my true authentic self. I abandoned it so long ago, I can’t even recall the last time I truly felt adequate. I must have been a baby and my memories don’t even go back that far. Feedback from family, friends, teachers, peers then later in life from trying to assimilate into a new country, culture, language. All these inputs told me I’m not good enough. Or, at least that’s how I interpreted everything through my own filter: You need to get better, learn, improve. You need to speak perfect English to fit in. You need to get perfect grades in college. You need to have this American success story. You need to make more money. (I’m really not sure what I was trying to prove?)

Then by age 28 I found myself living in a mention in Newport Coast with an ocean view (seemingly happy young couple and success story from the outside)…. BUT life was still far from perfect.

Then when I got divorced a few years later, I felt I needed to be more beautiful. If I was only more attractive… If I was only leaner, fitter, better looking. If I only had perfect teeth and perfect hair…

There must have been a reason why I no longer deserved to be loved. If only.

This started a continuous loop of seeking self improvement in every aspect of my life.

While this resulted in some success and accomplishments along the way, no matter how far I got chasing perfection… At the end… deep down inside: I was still feeling inadequate.

What I didn’t understand at the time is that I was the only one imposing these ridiculous standards onto myself. It was my lack of self love that was driving all this perfection seeking mentality.

Lately, I’ve been on a quest to find my authentic self. Who am I really? Underneath all the layers of what life made me become?

I clearly still don’t have my shit together, but since you took your precious time to read this far, and because it is always easier to hand out advice than to do it ourselves… here’s what I’m here to tell you:


Exactly the way you are now!

Yes, we need to seek self improvement. Gosh, darn it! Don’t cancel your membership with So Cal Boot Camp! We need you ha ha… 😋

But you have to do it for the right reason!

Exercise and eat healthy because you want a great quality of life. Because you want the opportunity to fully express your authentic self and you want the strength to have extraordinary experiences in your life.

Do it because you need the stamina to keep up with the myriad of amazing things that are the full expressions of your beautiful soul!

Don’t you wish we could all be just as happy as my cat Max? Not worried about what the rest of the world thinks of us?

Next time you look in the mirror and about to criticize yourself, and have that negative self talk… pause for a moment and say to yourself instead:

I’m enough.

I’m enough.

I’m enough.





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